Uncommon Me

Muan 10/28

I’m on familiar grounds now, and I see my future stretched out before me like a well-trodden path waiting to be taken again. But my past scares me as I am suddenly confronted with the reality that maybe this isn’t what I want to do with my life- that I don’t know what I’m in it for. All through those years, I have always aspired to live a fairytale of my own but I am often a victim of my self-incurred tragedies- I never learned to fight for what I want to achieve. Thinking priorities changed, horizons broadened, so I thought, maybe it's going to be reconciled, or perhaps it was just not appropriate. More often, I conveniently grab indifferent reasons just to get away with it. I am a great escapist, to my lame excuse.

And yet, there're so many paths I can walk, so many things I can do, and so many ends I can meet. The question is, which path do I want to take, what do I want to do, and which end does I want to meet. I realize now that perhaps, whatever reasons I have and I wished for from ignoring what I truly feel right now would be priceless.

Someday I don’t want to stop, look back, and think, I screwed it up. That I could have had it all - all my dreams come true. I haven’t found the courage to pursue what I want. The stakes are too high. But I would be crazy if after all the efforts of the past, I blew it all on an ideal, the ideal that I wouldn’t be hurt anymore. I’m not going to say no. I will take it. I will take this chance that will satisfy the desire I deeply feel inside- to be near you.

I just woke up one day with you on my mind...I guess I did fall ...err yadda yadda yadda...