Deception

Muan 02/07

It would be untruthful if I will not post this as it is, as I jotted in my phone’s journal last Saturday.

It is disappointing to learn that there are actually people who create illusion of concern and compassion. For someone who is caught unprepared, the illusion is insurmountable to discern.

And while Zen tells you to acknowledge your qualms;

One must be ready and be aware that certain cheers can be an outrageous chant of disbelief, such, that could come from an ally and not from a foe.

In reference to my former blog: I found this particular entry posted just for you.

Entry: Kalyanamitra
Muan 07/26

I came across of this Zen page, in the light that I could share Kalyanamitra, and my meaning of friendship to a familiar being who nastily called me Chico.

Kalyanamitra is the Sanskrit word for spiritual friendship. This friendship is something much more than someone to hang out with, but rather connotes a person or even a thing that becomes our guide, a teacher, and serves to inspire us along our path to awakening.

There is a common Zen expression that when the student is ready, the teacher appears. Ready or not, teachers are constantly appearing in our lives, but sometimes it is difficult to recognize because we are looking for someone that meets our image or idea of "teacher." Or, we regard this person or thing as an obstacle in our life, rather than as something that can awaken us to life’s meaning.

For instance, we could say that illness is kalyanamitra. The death of a sibling can be kalyanamitra. The birth of our child can be kalyanamitra. Falling in love can be kalyanamitra. In short, anything which shakes us out of our ongoing slumber and creates an opening to a vista beyond our narrow image or experience of ego-self, is a spiritual friend worthy of our gratitude.

It may be difficult to regard a painful experience as a friend. We respond by pushing such experiences away or by grasping on to something else. But in zazen, we learn to sit in the midst of our suffering, much as one would do with someone in need. Just sitting. Just seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, touching, awareness -- recognizing and affirming the most essential nature of our situation, whatever it may be.

by Roshi Wendy Egyoku Nakao

I wish to thank you for the amity and fraternal ties we've shared and I do want you to know that my heart bleeds as I recode all this things this morning. I am deeply sorry to disappoint you. I might have a poor memory but just as what I have told you in my first letter (well, a gift card for that matter) I wrote;

"Thank you for letting me who I am."